Excuses: I Never!
by Samwise Baggins
Summary: A birthday party drinking game reveals a bit more than the crew intended, both to the others and to themselves.


Excuses: I Never!

Author: Sam

Series: n/a

Rating: Pg-15: Kissing, Language.

Pairings: (Deep breath) Jayne/Mac; Sheldon/Mac; Mac/Aiden; Don/Aiden; Jayne/Danny; Stella/Danny; Mac/Chad; Mac/Sheldon; Mac/Stella; Aiden/Sheldon; Danny/Aiden; Stella/Mac (though not all pairings result in kisses)

Summary: A birthday party drinking game reveals a bit more than the crew intended, both to the others and to themselves.

Spoilers: none really

Category: General; Romance

Disclaimer: _CSI: Crime Scene Investigation_ is produced by AllGilesce Atlantis Communications and CBS Productions, in association with Jerry Bruckheimer Films; the series is distributed worldwide by AllGilesce Atlantis, and by CBS in the USA. I am in no way connected with these people, and I do not claim ownership to these characters, lands, or names. I have borrowed them to share a story... and most likely not a story any of them would have written, had they had the time or no. I am making no money from this, and it is just for my entertainment, and that of free entertainment to a select group of friends. Thank You.

Distribution: Please ask first?

Setting: Friday, December, New York City: A house party for the weekend.

Notes: All pairs were randomly generated, except the last pair. All people who were required to spin were randomly generated, except the last spinner. In other words, everything was coincidence except the very last pairing.

Feedback: Please? I love comments.

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What a way to end such a hard week's work. Most of the investigators and techs had shown up to the party that Friday night, enjoying themselves and the weekend coming up. There had been laughter and loud conversation and well wishes for the birthday celebrant. Several hours of fun passed rather quickly and, finally, the room had all but cleared by the time one A.M. had struck. The party seemed to have been a success.

Stella Bonasera grinned as she plopped down onto the floor, a nice light buzz going. She was glad Sid had stayed only an hour, for that meant the Greek-Italian could enjoy herself without feeling like the madical examiner was disapproving. She stretched, arching her back cat-like, then slouched and grinned around at the few remaining people in the room. "Lightning."

"Eh?" Jayne Parsons looked up from a book she'd received as a present from Leonard Giles. She had just turned thirty-four and had celebrated by drinking as many toasts as everyone else thought they could reasonably come up with.

"Lightning... outside, Jayne. It's raining."

Surprised, Jayne turned, as did everyone else. True enough, that December eighth night had turned harsher and fast, violent shafts of light ripped through the sky in the rainy wind which had sprung up. Thunder, barely noticed over the sounds of merry-making, echoed across the immediate silence. The birthday girl grinned and put her present on the floor, practically crawling a couple of steps before getting to her knees and shuffling to the window. She seemed enraptured by nature's display.

After only minutes, however, she glanced back to her friends and sighed. "Bored. What'll we do now?"

"We could strip you and throw you into the rain."

A chorus of laughter echoed in the warm room and Jayne made a face, flinging an empty can at Sheldon. "No. Not going to let you, mate. S'bad idea."

"We could rewrap the gifts and hide them around the house for you to find." Aiden looked amused as she made the unusual suggestion.

Everyone stared at the sexy brunette as if she'd floored them. It was a measure of just how tipsy the eight investigators were that they would actually consider the idea. Finally, Mac Taylor shook his head. "Not going to work, Aiden. Jayne wouldn't be able to 'member them all."

"More like you wouldn't be able to rewrap them," came Danny Messer's amused quip. More laughter poured forth and Sheldon took the opportunity to fling the empty can at Danny. The man caught it and brandished it like a trophy.

Jayne shook her head. "No, I don't like scavenger hunts. Something else." She looked around hopefully, eyes landing on Chad. Chad Willingham shrugged, content merely to sit and enjoy the congenial atmosphere in the room. As Jayne looked at each person, she received negative answers of one form or another. Finally, with a sigh, she glanced to the last person there: Don Flack.

"Oh, don't tell me I'm the only one with enough brain cells left to think up fun ideas." Don grinned and reached for Jayne's empty bottle. "Fine, then, here's what we'll do. And," he looked up, blue eyes dancing, "since I'm the one who has to think of something... again... none of you are allowed to back out."

Chad looked suspicious. "What're we doing? I don't like agreeing to the unknown, Flack."

Don laughed. "Nothing drastic. A party game is all. Of course, it takes a bit of intelligence, so if you can't handle that..."

When he left the sentence hanging, several of the others took immediate umbrage. Aiden shook her head, leaning back as if in preparation of refusing outright. Danny sat forward, to protest the slight to his intelligence level.

Mac merely shook his head and laughed. "So, we're too drunk for a party game? That, my friend, is a challenge. I'm in."

Stella laughed and nodded. "Me, too. I'm not too drunk to think."

The tall Italian nodded as the others agreed to play his game. The only one who didn't speak up was Aiden Burn. Finally, Don turned to look at his friend. "Well? Brave enough?"

"That depends on what type of party game it is, Flack." With a shake of her dark head, the pretty detective leaned forward once more. "What's the game?"

"It's a drinking game called _Excuses: I Never!_ It's lots of fun. Not too hard, either. What d'you say? Up for it?" Blue eyes fixed intently on brown as Don waited for an answer.

Aiden frowned. "Never heard of it."

"Oh, that one! I used to play that all the time in school." Jayne grinned. She started enthusiastically explaining the rules. "You see it starts out with everyone having a full drink. First person clearly claims something she's never done before. Everyone who'd never done it agrees. Those who have done it, take a drink. If someone catches you lying, you finish your drink completely. Goal is to be the last one coherent."

Sheldon nodded his head. "It sounds fun. I can do that." The African-American grinned and turned to start filling everyone's glasses or to get them fresh bottles of whatever it was they were individually drinking.

Aiden frowned. "I get the _I Never _part, but what's the _Excuses_ part?" She wasn't as easily taken in as the others, or she was less fun at a party. "Tell the rest, Jayne."

"She's the birthday girl; we should play her game, Aiden." Stella passed a bottle to Aiden, who didn't refuse it despite her wariness.

Don laughed. "The fun part is _Excuses_, Burn. When you finish your drink, you spin your bottle. Whoever it points to has to kiss you. If he doesn't want to, he has to come up with a valid excuse within a minute." Don grinned wider and held up a hand. "Thing is, each excuse can only be used once in a game, no matter who uses it. So it takes a lot of thinking to come up with something new."

With a frown, Aiden nodded. "Sounds like _Truth or Dare _fucked with _Spin the Bottle_, Don. You sure this's a real game?" She settled back, however, as if agreeing to play this time.

Danny nodded, grinning. "Of course it's a real game, Aiden. I've played it at kids parties before, as well. It's not as hard as it sounds. More often than not, you wind up passed out before you have to worry about people forgetting what excuses were used. I'm in."

"But there aren't enough women here." Chad frowned. He frowned more severely when Mac quipped that he better have good excuses then. "Oh, you're still playing, Mister Supervisor?"

"Sure. I think I can easily come up with at least half a dozen excuses not to kiss you guys." Mac let Sheldon top his glass off. "But if you're worried, you can always drop out, Willingham."

Chad shook his head, growling, "I'm in."

"All right!" Jayne stood and took her empty bottle back from Don then had everyone scoot back to give it plenty of room for spinning. "Since most of us are using glasses, we'll just share the same bottle for spinning. I'll go first, since it's my birthday." And with that, the thirty-four year old Englishwoman looked deep in thought. It was just as Stella was getting restless that Jayne came up with something. "I've never walked in on my parents having sex." She grinned proudly around as the others stared at her in surprise.

Mac laughed. "Nothing like starting off with a bang, eh, Jayne? Well, neither have I, and I'm quite thankful for that."

A chorus of agreement rang out from most of those present. Danny sighed and took a drink, followed by Don, with a shrug. Mac frowned. "Does that exclude at the office?" At the agreement, Mac drank anyway, apparently having just thrown the comment out for the hell of it.

"What is that? A guy thing, walking in on your parents in bed?"

"Wasn't in bed; was on the living room couch," Danny said.

Aiden shook her head, groaning. "We didn't need to know that, Danny. Mac was the last to drink, so now he says what he never did."

Mac grinned and leaned forward. "I never kissed my brother on the mouth."

With a stunned blink, Stella turned quickly. "What, don't you want someone else to drink?"

"Exactly, Stella. If no one drinks, no one spins." The detective sounded smug.

Laughter met that clever idea and only one person drank. Everyone stared at Danny as he brought the bottle away from his lips. "What? I was five." He glared at the increased glee. "My turn. I never kissed my sister on the mouth."

"Oh, come on, that's lazy, copying Mac's."

Danny shrugged. "Either agree or drink up, Parsons. Come on."

Interestingly enough, Don and Stella both took a drink.

In confusion, Aiden said, "I thought you were an orphan?"

Stella shurgged nonchalantly, "Nuns are sister, Aiden."

Interrupting, Don jumped in to take a turn. "I never hit my sibling." He looked very smug as Danny and Aiden drank.

Aiden sighed. "I was last? Okay... I... I never... I never played this before." She grinned and shrugged.

"Good one, Aiden. We know which three have already." Stella poked Jayne. "Right?"

Jayne sighed and drank then laughed. "Looks like Danny's loosing."

Don and Danny drank as well.

"Let's see... I never..."

As the game progressed, the drinks slowly emptied and the group slowly grew more creative in their statements. Already, Jayne and Sheldon had both had to spin. Both times, the bottle had wound up pointing to Mac, and both times he'd actually come up with acceptable excuses. The first one had been "Sorry, I'm you're supervisor." The second had been "I don't kiss on the first date." Technically, they could have made Mac kiss Sheldon for that, but they'd thought it so funny no one pressed the issue.

Somehow, without a word spoken, the majority of the investigators were trying to come up with things to make Mac take drinks. It was an unspoken agreement that it would be funny as hell to see him sweat it out while the guy on the other end of the bottle tried to come up with a good excuse. The plot was working, as Mac had only a little left in his glass.

It was Stella's turn to make a statement, and she was a bit stumped. Finally, she shook her head. "Uh... I never... uh... I never... was a Marine!" She grinned triumphantly at Mac's scowl.

The only one to actually drink on that round was Mac. There was no way out of it, since any one of them could pull out his service file and point out that he was the only one that had been an active US Marine. "That was low, Stella," Mac grumbled as he finished off his drink and sighed, reaching for the bottle in the middle of the loose circle. With a deep breath, he gave the bottle a firm spin.

The laughter stopped, though smiles and amusement were still evident. Nobody moved as they watched the bottle spinning. It took a long time to finally stop and when it did, Mac froze. He slowly raised his eyes, wide and deep blue with consternation. His eyes met and locked with Aiden's brown ones.

The seconds ticked by, closer and closer to the time limit for the excuse. Aiden remained quiet, merely watching the older detective with an unreadable expression. Time seemed to drag by and fly all at once. Finally, she nodded and stretched, leaning back against the couch behind her.

"I don't believe I'll kiss you, Mac. You're far too nervous, and I don't prefer to force myself on you."

As the comment could easily shift the mood of the game to extremely uncomfortable, the tension starting to build needed breaking. Mac was the one to do so, not wanting his personal preferences to wreck Jayne's party. With a laugh and apparently nonchalant shrug, he replied cheekily, "My loss; who's next?"

With a relieved smile, Stella pointed to Aiden. "Your turn for an _I Never_, Aiden. What haven't you done yet?"

Aiden nodded and looked thoughtful. Slowly, in her customary throaty purr, the Italian spoke, "I've never kissed an animal."

Surprise followed that statement and Don grinned, thinking he'd caught out the woman. "Ah, but a pet? When you were a kid, Burn?"

"Not even as a kid with a pet. I never kissed any animals." Her look dared anyone to continue defying her statement. Nobody pressed it, everyone but Aiden taking a drink.

Chad nodded. "All right, I've never been to Russia."

"What kind of _Never_ is that?" Jayne demanded.

"My turn, my _Never_," Chad shot back.

With a laugh, Danny jumped in, "I'm not complaining."

"Well I am," Jayne leaned forward. "I don't think anyone here's been to Russia, mate, so it's really a..."

"Fine," Chad glared at the DNA Tech. "For the sake of your birthday, I'll change the _Never_." He raised his hand to still protests coming from Don and Stella. "I've never stole so much as a piece of candy in my entire life. That make you happy, Parsons?"

Jayne frowned and took a drink, exposing the fact that at some time in her youth she'd at least stolen candy, if not something worth more. Everyone except Chad drank, in fact, much to the disgust of Stella, who apparently took the _Never_ as something personal in her inebriated state.

"Thanks a lot. What're we doing here, baring our souls? This better not get out, guys."

Don smiled and turned his drink upside down, proving that it was empty. He reached for the bottle, but bumped hands with Stella and Jayne, who were also reaching for it. He nodded. "Looks like we get to wrestle for the bottle." He sounded excited.

"What?" Mac cleared his throat, bothered by the squeak he'd let out. He shook his head. "No one said anything about wrestling." He glared at Jayne who began to giggle.

"Nah, no wrestling, Mac. We take turns spinning and kissing. Go ahead, Don, you first." Jayne leaned forward and slid the bottle towards the tall New Yorker.

"Right, and here goes," the only cop in that group gave the bottle a hard spin. It was almost mesmerizing in its motion as light flashed off the clear glass spinning in the middle of the hardwood floor. It continued spinning for quite some time, in fact.

When it stopped, it was pointing to Aiden. The woman laughed softly, watching Don. "Looks like I'm popular tonight." She studied the man as the time ticked away, judging Don's reaction. Finally, she leaned over and slid her hand behind the man's head, drawing him closer. "You want an excuse, Flack?" Her breath was a whisper across Don's lips.

The tip of a pink tongue darted out to wet lips and Don's breath hitched in expectation. "Don't need an excuse, Burn." He tilted his head, gripping Aiden's collar and pulling her that last bit forward.

Their lips met and Don's head started to spin. He smiled, not letting Aiden get away, drawing the kiss out. Don worked his lips over Aiden's mouth, tasting the other investigator. He sighed in delight; it had been a long time since he'd started wanting this.

Mac made a slight choking sound in his throat and looked away, raising his glass to his lips for a sip. Stella's hand shot out to stop him, however, earning a thankful glance from her friend. There was no way Mac wanted his glass emptied any quicker than it had to be.

"Break it off. It's my turn to spin." Jayne gave the bottle a hard flick and grinned as the pair of kissers reluctantly drew apart, Don licking his lips to try to get every trace of Aiden.

When the bottle slowed to a stop, Danny shook his head. He met Jayne's eyes and shrugged. "Well, it can't be all bad, can it?" He leaned over and kissed Jayne softly, quickly, then sat back with a smile.

With a surprised gasp, Jayne flushed a bit. She looked stunned as Stella reached for the bottle. "No... not bad at all..." she sounded as shocked as she looked. She'd never really considered kissing Danny before. When she'd played this game in school they automatically spun again if it landed on someone younger. The birthday girl withdrew into contemplative silence as laughter swept the room.

Stella, too, had spun Danny.

Wide green eyes lifted. Stella had always been more inclined toward treating Danny as a little brother, not potential lover. Now she was confronted with the man after he'd just finished kissing a co-worker. There was no way he'd come up with an excuse to avoid kissing Stella. The older woman swallowed convulsively.

Softly Danny laughed as he leaned forward. "I don't bite, Stella. Relax. It doesn't hurt... just a little kiss..." His tone was persuasive and Stella nodded, closing her eyes and tilting her head up.

This action met snickers from Jayne and Chad, but Stella ignored them, waiting for the feeling of having Danny kiss her on the mouth. It wasn't as bad as she'd thought. In fact, like Jayne said, it was not bad at all. She blinked her eyes open in dazed surprise as Danny pulled back with a gentle smile. "Wow..."

Danny laughed and sat back against the chair he leaned on.

Aiden reached out and stopped Mac, who'd been so dazed he'd actually finished off half his wine. "Slow down, man, you'll regret it in the morning if you're not careful." She met Mac's gaze steadily, tapping the glass gently with one tapered fingernail. Mac gulped and nodded.

"My turn, then," Sheldon interjected. It actually wasn't certain anymore whose turn precisely it was to go, but no one contested the medical examiner, letting him move the game along. "I've never broken my own bone before." The statement was almost anti-climatic after the round of kissing, but nobody complained. Drinks were had and the game went on.

Several rounds later, Chad was one of the few who were not drunk. Somehow, despite having emptied his glass twice more, Mac had gotten out of kissing because he'd spun Chad, who had an excuse about not being interested in Mac, and Sheldon, who said he didn't prefer to kiss someone who'd been drinking wine so freely. They laughed and let that go as an excuse, as they knew Mac would enjoy the game more if he was simply let off the hook.

Now, Chad Willingham had the chance to get three people to spin, if he could come up with the right statement to make them all drink that last sip. Eyeing his intended victims, Chad smiled. Something that connected Mac, Danny, and Aiden? Easy. "I've never been a CSI."

With a groan, meant more for show than protest, Danny finished his glass off, smiling as Aiden and Mac also finished off their drinks. Stella was the only other drinker that round, but she hadn't finish her wine just yet. Mac reached for the bottle first, wanting to get the tension over with so he could enjoy the show.

He didn't question why he'd stopped thinking of this kissing game as torture and started wanting to see it. Probably it was due to his being the drunkest one there. None-the-less, he was looking forward to seeing just whom Aiden and Danny had to kiss, almost hoping Don would be involved. After all, of all the kisses that night, the hottest had been the one between Aiden and Don early on.

When the bottle stopped spinning, Mac looked expectantly at his kisser, waiting for the seemingly inevitable excuse. It never came. Instead, Stella leaned forward and cupped her friend's face, bringing their lips together amid a sudden hush over the room. Mac was too stunned to move. Taking this as encouragement, Stella slanted her head and deepened the kiss, tracing her tongue over Mac's lips, tasting the red wine and something that was inherently Mac. She started losing herself in the kiss and actually whimpered in protest when Mac gripped her arms gently and put her away.

Softly, he said, "Down, girl. You're holding up the game."

The fact that Mac was willing to relieve the tension with a joke relaxed everyone, especially as they knew how uncomfortable he must be. Most of them took this as nothing too seriously personal, just a lot of messing around. Mac, however, was their supervisor, as far as they could tell, and that kiss must have been a real trial to him.

Preventing the silence from stretching too far, Aiden reached over and spun the bottle. She grinned wolfishly as Sheldon turned up as the kisser. "Well, Sheldon-boy, gonna make an excuse or kiss me?" Her throaty purr visibly sent a shiver through the man.

"I'm not afraid to kiss you, Aiden." Sheldon leaned over and planted a kiss on Aiden's mouth, brief but certainly a kiss. "Danny's turn, yeah?"

"My turn..." Danny spun the bottle lightly, hoping to have it stop sooner and keep this game moving. It was getting late, and he had a feeling that shortly they'd be losing some of their members to exhaustion. After all, it had been a long day of crime solving before the party. With a laugh, Danny met Aiden's eyes. "Well, I would have to say you are popular tonight, Aiden. C'mere so I can kiss you."

Aiden grinned and slid over, leaning into Danny's kiss and gripping the front of his T-shirt to prevent it from ending too quickly. Danny laughed and pulled back after a long moment, pretending to gasp for breath. "Now I see what Don saw. Whoa!"

Don smiled and licked his lips again, joking, "I'm willing to give you a go, man, and see if you measure up to the woman."

"Maybe..." Danny turned his slow smile to the younger man, watching in amusement as those blue eyes widened in surprise. "You'll have to earn it, though."

"We'll see, then, won't we?" And Don tapped his chin thoughtfully, trying to pretend he hadn't inadvertantly been flirting with a guy. "Okay, got one. I never dodged a train."

Jayne looked confused. "What nutter would?"

Stella drank up, finishing off her drink. When the others turned to her in surprise, she shrugged and smiled a bit lopsidedly. "I'd just seen Stand By Me and wanted to see if I could do it."

The safety-conscious Mac shook his head. "You could have been killed, Stella. That..."

"Oh, let up, Mac." Sheldon laughed. "She's probably learned not to be so stupid."

"Yeah, a bit late for whinging on now, mate," Jayne pushed the bottle to Stella. "Getting tired. Last spin of the night, Stella."

Nodding, Stella spun the bottle, watching in inebriated fascination as the lights sparkled and flashed off of the spinning glass. When it finally stopped, Don groaned. "Boring, man!"

Stella looked up already knowing by Don's comment whom the bottle would be pointing to. Her green eyes met Mac's surprised blue ones. With a slight smile, Stella waited for the inevitable excuse. Instead, everyone was shocked when Mac finished off his own drink with a "What the hell..."

The man leaned forward, grabbed his partner by the front of her loose blouse and yanked her off balance. As Stella fell towards Mac, their lips met. She tried to pull back, to straighten up, preparing to make light of the kiss, but she met resistance. Mac was still kissing her, his hand releasing the her shirt so he could gently cup Stella's face instead.

Stella was lost. With a groan, she responded, kissing her best friend back. Her arms came up around Mac's neck, holding on as she felt the world spin closer and closer towards desire. She broke the kiss when she realized her body was starting to respond in a more visible way than she'd wish.

No one was laughing. They merely looked stunned to have witnessed the two senior investiagtors kissing like long lost lovers. No one knew just what to say to break the awkward silence, which became more and more obvious.

Again, it was Mac himself who broke the tension. He stood up and grabbed his jacket, shrugging into it. "Guess I win, huh?" And he was out the door, into the rain, before anyone could think of a reply.

End


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